Thoughts...and More Thoughts.

I want to write about you just because I feel like it. Maybe this is the closest I can get to being honest with you...

We didn't really meet the ordinary way, although as I remember the people I've met, the way we did is becoming...common.

The first time I saw you and we had dinner, I have to be honest, I sort of "profiled" you, and I know you did the same. We probably weren't expecting anything from each other, or maybe we just want to believe that we aren't. Everyone has expectations...no matter how little.

You're single, educated, smart, financially stable with a decent job. But, physically, you weren't my type. But of course, this didn't stop us from having a nice conversation over dinner.

I guess in some ways, that dinner made quite an impression, and I agreed to go out with you again after 2 weeks. We talked about everything there is to talk about. I noticed that there are some things I can tell you that I can't tell other people. You became a confidant, an ear to listen. You can even finish my sentences before I can think of the next word to say.

I was honest with you about how I felt, and this I guess, was the biggest mistake I did.

You started misinterpreting things, and I don't like that. You started telling me that you're beginning to see me differently...and you started asking me where all these may lead.

I didn't want to answer your question not because I didn't know the answer yet, but because I already know how I felt. I don't feel the same. I am enjoying your company and our conversations, but that's all there is to it.

Why? I can think of a million reasons why I should not be in a relationship right now. You might even conclude that it's because I'm still haunted by my not so distant past with someone. In some ways, that is true. I still end up wishing that it was him I'm having good conversations and dinners with some times...and I'm being unfair. Regardless of how many reasons I try to list down here, it all just boils down to one thing.....

I just don't see you as the one. I'm sorry...