Feeling Bluer Than Ever

Horoscope for the day:
"Like a chameleon, you're adjusting to changes around you, but that doesn't mean it's easy on your heart. Take a time out and do something solo to restore your energy."

Changes around me: For one, I haven't been communicating with him for 19 hours now...And counting. Yes, we're playing the tiis game, which I am bound to lose any minute now. Kaya niya akong tiisin. Kaya nyang mawala ako sa buhay niya. Hindi ko kaya. I can't believe I actually lasted 19 hours. Konti na lang, isang buong araw na. Maybe I can, because I'm trying so hard. But if the weaker side of me prevails, patay. Bibigay ako.
Second, I'm in the office on a Sunday. My schedule changed last week, and this is the second Sunday that I'm working instead of malling. Pero ok lang. Petiks ang weekends. There are calls coming in, but most ofthem do not get escalated, and it's not as many as what they get during weekdays.
Lastly, I didn't see any movie during the weekend. BIG CHANGE. I usually spend my offs watching movies, no matter how pathetic they are.

Restoring my energy: I have plans of spending the night with my dear, beloved friends, instead of waiting for nothing. Madaming magandang palabas, kaya kailangan kong manuod ng sine. I need to "restore my energy" sabi nga sa horoscope. I can't get a massage as late as 10pm, so a movie would do. Checking my outside mails, checking out friendster and hi5, and updating this blog, is also a means of restoring my diminishing strength to think. My thinking cells were all devoted to feeling unnecessary emotions, ayan tuloy, I feel drained.

I miss him. Terribly. Just thinking about how happy he is with her right now, and not even a single bone in him is thinking about me, makes me sick that I want to puke.

This is what I was talking about 2 nights ago: I can already feel the end coming, and it's nearer than i thought... :(